By Scary Barry Rodriguez December 29, 2011
Okay fans ! Barbara Walters had her " Most Interesting Persons Of 2011 " list so the Scary one feels entitled to bestow My honors on the deserving few !
1. Gavin Newsom- ex Mayor of San Francisco, present Lt. Governor of California With his perfectly sculpted hairdo and white bread good looks he is the perfect pitch man for billionaire puppet masters looking to put one over on the good citizens of California. He has charisma without being corrupted by content. Like dude ! He is pure air ! When he was holding forth in Frisco he brought the people portable parks , empty promises and endless photo opportunities. He epitomizes what the sixties hippies meant by the term Plastic which in their jargon denoted someone who is a stone phoney ! Some of his usual suspect backers want him to run for Governor again. I'm holding My breath !
2. The Kardashians AKA " The Cashdashians " - This family is an Alien abduction gone wrong. I'm firmly convinced that they are a cardboard reproduction of human beings. Whatever it takes, be it unauthorized sex videos , sham marriages or revealing attire, they have parlayed being untalented and without scruples into wealth. Their unreality " Reality "show is a must watch program for millions of celebrity wannabes out there in internet land ! So even if Kim has the Mount Rushmore of a butt there is no hope for the family in the real world !
3. All the 2011 Republican Presidential candidates - Mitt, Rick, Herman, they make the Three Stooges look like geniuses ! If anyone of them gets elected the joke will be on the American people. They are endless fodder for SNL comedy sketches. Mitt Romney has the smile and more flip flops than a short order cook tossing pancakes. Rick Perry spends so much time on his look he can't even remember his own lines. Herman Cain AKA " The Great Black Hope " has all the quick quips but can't seem to remember all his sex partners ! Stick to Pizzas Herman ! Poor Michelle Bachman your running in the wake of the Sarah Palin tragedy ! Newt AKA " The Professor " should stay in the background because his over weight , smirking , image doesn't play well on a national scale. I would find talking to Mr. Ed the talking horse more interesting than this pack of jackals !
4. Charlie Sheen- Anyone who finds this walking train wreck entertaining is a sadist ! Charlie thinks being a junkie jerk is hip to the max ! There is nothing to him but madness. In his deranged mind he is following an unknown script. He is just taking up space on this planet. The Scary one thinks he should dive into a giant toilet bowl and get flushed for charity. Only then can he have some redemption !
5. All the Sport's analysts on ESPN- This crowd of monotones make constipation seem like a great alternative ! ESPN makes Sports seem so serious ! Jockcasters ( My term- check out Scary Barry's word glossary ) breaking down games right down to the jockstrap sizes of the jocks ! Robotic reciting of endless statistics to justify conclusions that have no impact on the reality of life ! Great for gamblers looking for an edge ! Like artificial flowers, talented women are sprinkled in with the retired jocks and frustrated journalists just for color ! The only thing worse is the NFL Network ! The only thing I like about ESPN is Hanna Storm ! Even at her advanced age a skin tight skirt looks good on her !
6. Tiger Woods- This was an obvious choice ! Tiger does get creativity points for putting out the story that his wife was only trying to rescue him from his car while really trying to crack open his melon ! Even at his best Tiger is impossibly dry in his post round comments. His stud exploits only spiced up the story line temporarily. For his sponsors Tiger produced big bucks before his fall. He just doesn't have the bad boy charisma yet ! He hasn't reached Kobe Bryant status ! When the experts said he had a good swing they didn't know how on the mark they were. Golf is about as interesting as Tiger, not !
7. Michael Jackson- No doubt that Mr. Jackson was an entertainer with few peers. We will never know what really was behind the mask that was his surgically altered face. The hype surrounding him was so dense that the real Michael Jackson no longer existed. He was just a money machine his whole life and in the end the clock ran out ! I just never got the buzz from his act. He didn't project any charisma to the Scary one ! He was all about the business of being Michael Jackson. I'm convinced that was all there was right down the line. The Jackson family seem like Kardashians cashing in on brother Mike's talent. Just like Elvis Presley and Jimi Hendrix the bucks will keep on rolling in death won't stop it !
Folks just thinking about all the uninteresting people is putting me to sleep ! Who needs a list of ten anyway ! Seven is heaven for Scary Barry !
Courtesy of Scary Merlin Productions. BarryRodriguez (c) 2011. All Rights Reserved.
Okay fans ! Barbara Walters had her " Most Interesting Persons Of 2011 " list so the Scary one feels entitled to bestow My honors on the deserving few !
1. Gavin Newsom- ex Mayor of San Francisco, present Lt. Governor of California With his perfectly sculpted hairdo and white bread good looks he is the perfect pitch man for billionaire puppet masters looking to put one over on the good citizens of California. He has charisma without being corrupted by content. Like dude ! He is pure air ! When he was holding forth in Frisco he brought the people portable parks , empty promises and endless photo opportunities. He epitomizes what the sixties hippies meant by the term Plastic which in their jargon denoted someone who is a stone phoney ! Some of his usual suspect backers want him to run for Governor again. I'm holding My breath !
2. The Kardashians AKA " The Cashdashians " - This family is an Alien abduction gone wrong. I'm firmly convinced that they are a cardboard reproduction of human beings. Whatever it takes, be it unauthorized sex videos , sham marriages or revealing attire, they have parlayed being untalented and without scruples into wealth. Their unreality " Reality "show is a must watch program for millions of celebrity wannabes out there in internet land ! So even if Kim has the Mount Rushmore of a butt there is no hope for the family in the real world !
3. All the 2011 Republican Presidential candidates - Mitt, Rick, Herman, they make the Three Stooges look like geniuses ! If anyone of them gets elected the joke will be on the American people. They are endless fodder for SNL comedy sketches. Mitt Romney has the smile and more flip flops than a short order cook tossing pancakes. Rick Perry spends so much time on his look he can't even remember his own lines. Herman Cain AKA " The Great Black Hope " has all the quick quips but can't seem to remember all his sex partners ! Stick to Pizzas Herman ! Poor Michelle Bachman your running in the wake of the Sarah Palin tragedy ! Newt AKA " The Professor " should stay in the background because his over weight , smirking , image doesn't play well on a national scale. I would find talking to Mr. Ed the talking horse more interesting than this pack of jackals !
4. Charlie Sheen- Anyone who finds this walking train wreck entertaining is a sadist ! Charlie thinks being a junkie jerk is hip to the max ! There is nothing to him but madness. In his deranged mind he is following an unknown script. He is just taking up space on this planet. The Scary one thinks he should dive into a giant toilet bowl and get flushed for charity. Only then can he have some redemption !
5. All the Sport's analysts on ESPN- This crowd of monotones make constipation seem like a great alternative ! ESPN makes Sports seem so serious ! Jockcasters ( My term- check out Scary Barry's word glossary ) breaking down games right down to the jockstrap sizes of the jocks ! Robotic reciting of endless statistics to justify conclusions that have no impact on the reality of life ! Great for gamblers looking for an edge ! Like artificial flowers, talented women are sprinkled in with the retired jocks and frustrated journalists just for color ! The only thing worse is the NFL Network ! The only thing I like about ESPN is Hanna Storm ! Even at her advanced age a skin tight skirt looks good on her !
6. Tiger Woods- This was an obvious choice ! Tiger does get creativity points for putting out the story that his wife was only trying to rescue him from his car while really trying to crack open his melon ! Even at his best Tiger is impossibly dry in his post round comments. His stud exploits only spiced up the story line temporarily. For his sponsors Tiger produced big bucks before his fall. He just doesn't have the bad boy charisma yet ! He hasn't reached Kobe Bryant status ! When the experts said he had a good swing they didn't know how on the mark they were. Golf is about as interesting as Tiger, not !
7. Michael Jackson- No doubt that Mr. Jackson was an entertainer with few peers. We will never know what really was behind the mask that was his surgically altered face. The hype surrounding him was so dense that the real Michael Jackson no longer existed. He was just a money machine his whole life and in the end the clock ran out ! I just never got the buzz from his act. He didn't project any charisma to the Scary one ! He was all about the business of being Michael Jackson. I'm convinced that was all there was right down the line. The Jackson family seem like Kardashians cashing in on brother Mike's talent. Just like Elvis Presley and Jimi Hendrix the bucks will keep on rolling in death won't stop it !
Folks just thinking about all the uninteresting people is putting me to sleep ! Who needs a list of ten anyway ! Seven is heaven for Scary Barry !
Courtesy of Scary Merlin Productions. BarryRodriguez (c) 2011. All Rights Reserved.
No comments:
Post a Comment