By Scary Barry Rodriguez January 24,2011
( HONOLULU )- Yesterday the Scary one was transported in the dark hours of the morning to SFO ( SF Airport ) for my Hawaiian airlines flight out to Pro Bowl paradise. First I had to experience the new TSA procedures. ( TSA-Too Sexy Already ) Wow ! After the usual shoes off , dump everything in little plastic trays stage I was ready for the full body scan etc. I was made to enter a syfi like mini-chamber and to position my feet on some marked footprints. Then the chamber closed and I was scanned. It was my Star Trek moment. Beam me down Scotty ! Next I was made to stand on some other footprints while a TSA man frisked me . He rubbed his hands over my pectoral muscles searching for a weapon ! The only thing the seach discovered is that the Scary one has a big chest ! Should I have tipped the TSA man ?
After this sensual experience sans disco music me and my group were graciously allowed to go to our boarding area to await our departure . This was the real start to my trip. I started to think about the potential niche market for persons who enjoy being groped at the airport. My company could offer the experience at a reasonable cost to any weirdos who get off on getting searched. It could be a money maker ! For a set price a person could be scanned and groped over and over again ! They needn't have a flight at all !:
Obviously when a person is waiting for their departure flight they probally have too much time on their hands ! Like , get there 2 hours ahead of time ! How many times can one read the morning paper , watch families and there rugrats ( aka children ) and everyone else look nervously around for hours ! Yet the Scary one senses opportunity everywhere and at all times ! During my waiting time my creative mind was furiously conceiving numerous new ventures associated with my airport experience.
The flight to the Islands was like a long bus ride. Passengers are herded like cattle into a big metal sardine can that has wings. Up Up Up and away ! What a rush ! The big metal bird ascends up into the sky with a roar of its mighty engines. At this moment all I could think of was how it felt to have my pectoral muscles rubbed by TSA ! Than programmed imitation humans served me little cold drinks and minature meals, while I tried to be comfy on the plane. No way !
It had been cold in San Franciso . Now as my flight touched down at the Honolulu airport ( HL ) the bright sun flooded the airplane cabin. At first we couldn't leave the plane because something was wrong with the portable ramp used to attach the plane to the ramp. Than miracle like everyone was free to walk in the hot Hawaiian climes. I was picked up at the airport by my partner in crime , none other than Superbowl Wayne ! Then we went to a local radio station and did an hour of live radio talk ! What a trip !
Stay tuned for my next installment of my adventures on the way to Pro Bowl 2011 !
( HONOLULU )- Yesterday the Scary one was transported in the dark hours of the morning to SFO ( SF Airport ) for my Hawaiian airlines flight out to Pro Bowl paradise. First I had to experience the new TSA procedures. ( TSA-Too Sexy Already ) Wow ! After the usual shoes off , dump everything in little plastic trays stage I was ready for the full body scan etc. I was made to enter a syfi like mini-chamber and to position my feet on some marked footprints. Then the chamber closed and I was scanned. It was my Star Trek moment. Beam me down Scotty ! Next I was made to stand on some other footprints while a TSA man frisked me . He rubbed his hands over my pectoral muscles searching for a weapon ! The only thing the seach discovered is that the Scary one has a big chest ! Should I have tipped the TSA man ?
After this sensual experience sans disco music me and my group were graciously allowed to go to our boarding area to await our departure . This was the real start to my trip. I started to think about the potential niche market for persons who enjoy being groped at the airport. My company could offer the experience at a reasonable cost to any weirdos who get off on getting searched. It could be a money maker ! For a set price a person could be scanned and groped over and over again ! They needn't have a flight at all !:
Obviously when a person is waiting for their departure flight they probally have too much time on their hands ! Like , get there 2 hours ahead of time ! How many times can one read the morning paper , watch families and there rugrats ( aka children ) and everyone else look nervously around for hours ! Yet the Scary one senses opportunity everywhere and at all times ! During my waiting time my creative mind was furiously conceiving numerous new ventures associated with my airport experience.
The flight to the Islands was like a long bus ride. Passengers are herded like cattle into a big metal sardine can that has wings. Up Up Up and away ! What a rush ! The big metal bird ascends up into the sky with a roar of its mighty engines. At this moment all I could think of was how it felt to have my pectoral muscles rubbed by TSA ! Than programmed imitation humans served me little cold drinks and minature meals, while I tried to be comfy on the plane. No way !
It had been cold in San Franciso . Now as my flight touched down at the Honolulu airport ( HL ) the bright sun flooded the airplane cabin. At first we couldn't leave the plane because something was wrong with the portable ramp used to attach the plane to the ramp. Than miracle like everyone was free to walk in the hot Hawaiian climes. I was picked up at the airport by my partner in crime , none other than Superbowl Wayne ! Then we went to a local radio station and did an hour of live radio talk ! What a trip !
Stay tuned for my next installment of my adventures on the way to Pro Bowl 2011 !
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