March 9, 2011
Fans the Scary one is releasing these unique terms so that all the Sport's world can understand Scary talk ! I don't rely on other peoples terminology to express myself !
BASIC SCARY TALK TERMS:
JOCKCASTER- A conventional follow the leader type person who talks about sports.
JOCKSTAR- Superstar athelete
CHARISMOMETER- A device used to measure the relative magnetism of a person. ( Note: This device cannot be used for Scary Barry because he redlines it everytime ! )
MEGADUMP- A very substantial bowel movement
A PALLET LOAD OF PRUNE JUICE- Scary Barry's preferred method of dealing with persons with constipated thinking !
CARBOARD CUT OUT CHARACTER- ( see jockcaster )
GOT THE FAME BUT NOT THE GAME- The usual self promoting wannabe jockstar ( eg. Jamarcus Russell ).
HOE DOWN- A non disneyland party eg. Lets have a hoe down ! Get down hoe ! Note : The Scary one takes no responsibility for anyones personal interpetations !
DUNKFEST- What passes for a NBA game these days . ( see GETTING YOUR BLAKE ON ! )
GETTING YOUR BLAKE ON- ( see DUNKFEST ) Note: Those that still live in caves may not have heard of Blake Griffin of the Los Angeles Clippers
STEROID FRENZY- The artificial crisis created by grandstanding politicians, journalist looking for book or movie deals , law enforcement types trying to enhance their status and misguided defenders of non-existant atheletic purity to further their respective agendas.
STEROID FRENZY VICTIM- Greg Anderson, who is being sacrificed for the sins of any athelete alleged to have used steroids.
MANAGEMENT BY CONFUSION METHOD- New system for managing a professional football franchise by the use of inexperienced , arrogant non football types expressly for the purpose of competing with other egotistical moguls. Note : eg. San Francisco 49ers
THE TEXAS TOUCH- Building a 2 billion dollar stadium and not having enough seats at Superbowl XLV.
THE GREAT TEXAS MELTDOWN OF 2010- With two ex presidents in attendance, the crewcut wearing , tabacco chewing, favored Texas Rangers lost to the bearded, longhaired , pot smoking castoffs from San Francisco.
PHILLY CHUMPSTEAK- The Philadelphia Phillies pitching staff and batting lineup was as packed as a mouthwatering Philly cheesesteak. Despite their reputation the San Francisco Giants proved that the Philly chumpsteak was overdone.
GOLF TABLOID FODDER-Tiger Woods
TIGER WOODS-Golf tabloid fodder.
COUNTERFEIT GOOD GUY- Product of a public relations campaign and media hype, posing as a decent human being. ( see Tiger Woods )
MOTIVATION BY MIKE- The pants dropping, throat choking , eye squinting , in your face method of coaching popularized by Mike Singletary, ex head coach of the San Francisco 49ers.
TSA- Too sexy already. The term used to describe the groping , bare footing , Star Trek scanning, process of security screening by the Transportation Security Agency at various airports in the USA. Can be used as a verb . eg. I was TSAed just the other day ! The TSA experience is very sensual and has helped many folks overcome their inhibitions about being touched !
AIRPORT VUP LOUNGE- The special roped off area where very unimportant persons congregate.
THE CHEAP SQUAD- Regular folks who fly coach class, eat at cheap diners , stay at no tell motels and shop at Target !
CHEAP SQUAD HAUTE' CUISANE- Nachos with cheese, chilli dogs or any other overly greasy food.
FOUR BAGGER- Cheap Squad commando after a successful raid at the local Sizzler's salad bar, loaded down with bags of hidden food.
FRATERNITY SCHOOL OF SPORT'S TALK- Prevailing style of sport's talk radio that has middle age men posing as hipsters, talking about their favorite rap stars , dishing Charlie Sheen and using last year's slang. This method of broadcasting relies on fans calling in to make the show. These faceless legions of jockcasters are devoid of creativity and shamelessly pander to those fans interested in sport's tabloid coverage.
SPORT'S INSIDER- A catchy term that jockcasters and sportswriters used to try and mislead fans into thinking that they actually know anything. Some of these people are calling in scoops from airports or other remote locations pretending to report on events they don't attend. Those who are intent on placing bets should look elsewhere for reliable information.
EX JOCK BROTHERHOOD- The vast use of ex jocks as media broadcasters. This doesn't always translate into good entertainment for fans. Its a good bet that if a jockstar answers every interview question with only two or three words they probally won't make good broadcasters after they stop playing. Many of these ex jocks have the charisma of a stone.
CHARISMA CHALLENGED- The politically correct way of saying that someone is stone boring ! Note : ( see EX JOCK BROTHERHOOD )
THE RETIREMENT PLOY -AKA BRET FARVE REDUX- This is the time tested technique of players announcing eminent retirement in order to shake a few more dollars from the pockets of sport's team owners.
THE GOLDEN CHAIN BOYS OF SUMMER- The numerous major league baseball players who sport thick gold chains around their necks , known as bling ! The bright sun reflecting off these chains blinds the eyes of pitchers when these jocks are at bat or blinds the eyes of the batters when the it reflects off the chains of the players in the field. Its the ultimate sign of success or bad taste that every jock desires !
HOMEBOY POSSE- These days all socially deprived young millionaire jockstars need positive reinforcement. Thats where the Homeboy posse comes in ! When your winning they call you the man, heap empty praise on you and go on pizza runs for you. You can talk in third person around them and they won't mind ! They got your back ! If your money train dries up then all you see is their back , going in the opposite direction.
GETTING THE HEF VIBE GOING- This describes the state of mind where an adult male is attracted to females that are accurately described as teenagers or close to it. This term is in honor of Hugh Hefner of the Playboy magazine empire. It helps to have a stack of money , an endless supply of viagra and a big daddy complex. The Scary one has trouble getting his Hef vibe going with girls who look like Barbi dolls and are still young enough to wear braces on their teeth.
Courtesy of Scary Merlin Productions. barryrodriguez (c) 2011. all rights reserved.
Fans the Scary one is releasing these unique terms so that all the Sport's world can understand Scary talk ! I don't rely on other peoples terminology to express myself !
BASIC SCARY TALK TERMS:
JOCKCASTER- A conventional follow the leader type person who talks about sports.
JOCKSTAR- Superstar athelete
CHARISMOMETER- A device used to measure the relative magnetism of a person. ( Note: This device cannot be used for Scary Barry because he redlines it everytime ! )
MEGADUMP- A very substantial bowel movement
A PALLET LOAD OF PRUNE JUICE- Scary Barry's preferred method of dealing with persons with constipated thinking !
CARBOARD CUT OUT CHARACTER- ( see jockcaster )
GOT THE FAME BUT NOT THE GAME- The usual self promoting wannabe jockstar ( eg. Jamarcus Russell ).
HOE DOWN- A non disneyland party eg. Lets have a hoe down ! Get down hoe ! Note : The Scary one takes no responsibility for anyones personal interpetations !
DUNKFEST- What passes for a NBA game these days . ( see GETTING YOUR BLAKE ON ! )
GETTING YOUR BLAKE ON- ( see DUNKFEST ) Note: Those that still live in caves may not have heard of Blake Griffin of the Los Angeles Clippers
STEROID FRENZY- The artificial crisis created by grandstanding politicians, journalist looking for book or movie deals , law enforcement types trying to enhance their status and misguided defenders of non-existant atheletic purity to further their respective agendas.
STEROID FRENZY VICTIM- Greg Anderson, who is being sacrificed for the sins of any athelete alleged to have used steroids.
MANAGEMENT BY CONFUSION METHOD- New system for managing a professional football franchise by the use of inexperienced , arrogant non football types expressly for the purpose of competing with other egotistical moguls. Note : eg. San Francisco 49ers
THE TEXAS TOUCH- Building a 2 billion dollar stadium and not having enough seats at Superbowl XLV.
THE GREAT TEXAS MELTDOWN OF 2010- With two ex presidents in attendance, the crewcut wearing , tabacco chewing, favored Texas Rangers lost to the bearded, longhaired , pot smoking castoffs from San Francisco.
PHILLY CHUMPSTEAK- The Philadelphia Phillies pitching staff and batting lineup was as packed as a mouthwatering Philly cheesesteak. Despite their reputation the San Francisco Giants proved that the Philly chumpsteak was overdone.
GOLF TABLOID FODDER-Tiger Woods
TIGER WOODS-Golf tabloid fodder.
COUNTERFEIT GOOD GUY- Product of a public relations campaign and media hype, posing as a decent human being. ( see Tiger Woods )
MOTIVATION BY MIKE- The pants dropping, throat choking , eye squinting , in your face method of coaching popularized by Mike Singletary, ex head coach of the San Francisco 49ers.
TSA- Too sexy already. The term used to describe the groping , bare footing , Star Trek scanning, process of security screening by the Transportation Security Agency at various airports in the USA. Can be used as a verb . eg. I was TSAed just the other day ! The TSA experience is very sensual and has helped many folks overcome their inhibitions about being touched !
AIRPORT VUP LOUNGE- The special roped off area where very unimportant persons congregate.
THE CHEAP SQUAD- Regular folks who fly coach class, eat at cheap diners , stay at no tell motels and shop at Target !
CHEAP SQUAD HAUTE' CUISANE- Nachos with cheese, chilli dogs or any other overly greasy food.
FOUR BAGGER- Cheap Squad commando after a successful raid at the local Sizzler's salad bar, loaded down with bags of hidden food.
FRATERNITY SCHOOL OF SPORT'S TALK- Prevailing style of sport's talk radio that has middle age men posing as hipsters, talking about their favorite rap stars , dishing Charlie Sheen and using last year's slang. This method of broadcasting relies on fans calling in to make the show. These faceless legions of jockcasters are devoid of creativity and shamelessly pander to those fans interested in sport's tabloid coverage.
SPORT'S INSIDER- A catchy term that jockcasters and sportswriters used to try and mislead fans into thinking that they actually know anything. Some of these people are calling in scoops from airports or other remote locations pretending to report on events they don't attend. Those who are intent on placing bets should look elsewhere for reliable information.
EX JOCK BROTHERHOOD- The vast use of ex jocks as media broadcasters. This doesn't always translate into good entertainment for fans. Its a good bet that if a jockstar answers every interview question with only two or three words they probally won't make good broadcasters after they stop playing. Many of these ex jocks have the charisma of a stone.
CHARISMA CHALLENGED- The politically correct way of saying that someone is stone boring ! Note : ( see EX JOCK BROTHERHOOD )
THE RETIREMENT PLOY -AKA BRET FARVE REDUX- This is the time tested technique of players announcing eminent retirement in order to shake a few more dollars from the pockets of sport's team owners.
THE GOLDEN CHAIN BOYS OF SUMMER- The numerous major league baseball players who sport thick gold chains around their necks , known as bling ! The bright sun reflecting off these chains blinds the eyes of pitchers when these jocks are at bat or blinds the eyes of the batters when the it reflects off the chains of the players in the field. Its the ultimate sign of success or bad taste that every jock desires !
HOMEBOY POSSE- These days all socially deprived young millionaire jockstars need positive reinforcement. Thats where the Homeboy posse comes in ! When your winning they call you the man, heap empty praise on you and go on pizza runs for you. You can talk in third person around them and they won't mind ! They got your back ! If your money train dries up then all you see is their back , going in the opposite direction.
GETTING THE HEF VIBE GOING- This describes the state of mind where an adult male is attracted to females that are accurately described as teenagers or close to it. This term is in honor of Hugh Hefner of the Playboy magazine empire. It helps to have a stack of money , an endless supply of viagra and a big daddy complex. The Scary one has trouble getting his Hef vibe going with girls who look like Barbi dolls and are still young enough to wear braces on their teeth.
Courtesy of Scary Merlin Productions. barryrodriguez (c) 2011. all rights reserved.
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